Don’t Take It So Hard

Don’t Take It So Hard
(by Michael Clem)

I came home last night
my gal was in the tub
lovin’ on some other naked man
I asked “What’s goin’ on
with you and Don Juan?”
She said “Sorry, do you need
to use the can?
And when you’re done there
could you go upstairs
and kindly help to put my kids to bed?”
I told her I was crushed
She told me I should hush
She laughed at me and this is what she said

Don’t take it so hard
Tell me what’s a girl to do
But when I was kissin’
I found that I was missin’
And thinkin’ bout nobody else but you
Now I can’t help my appetite for love
& I’m hopelessly addicted to the mens
I’ll say I’m sorry til the cows come home
But it’s probably gonna happen again

Just last June
We was on our honeymoon
sailing with a scuba dive instructor
When I was in the sea
She was cheatin’ on me
In the lower cabin where he did instruct her
When I came up above
they was madly makin’ love
on the very week that we just wed
I told her I was crushed
She told me I should hush
She grabbed a fin and hit me in the head

Don’t take it so hard
Tell me what’s a girl to do
But when we was kissin’
I found that I was missin’
And thinkin’ bout nobody else but you
Now I can’t help my appetite for love
& I’m hopelessly addicted to the mens
I’ll say I’m sorry til the cows come home
But it’s probably gonna happen again

Should I take it as a sign?
Should I take it as a hint?
But when she told me she likes
to spread her love around
I didn’t know that this is what she meant

I know what’ll fix her
I’ll hook up with her sister
Just a simple one or two-night stand
But that was not so wise
for much to my surprise
I found out that she’s actually a man
My gal asked if I’d heard
these philosophical words
explaining why she keeps the upper hand
I said, “I guess you win”
and she said those words again
her mantra that I’ve come to understand
She said

Don’t take it so hard
Tell me what’s a girl to do
But when I do my kissin’
I find that I am missin’
And thinkin’ bout nobody else but you
Now I can’t help my appetite for love
& I’m hopelessly addicted to the mens
I’ll say I’m sorry til the cows come home
But it’s probably gonna happen again
Yes, it’s probably going to happen again
Don’t know exactly Who or Where or When
It’s a double standard I will always win