FOOD LION PRETTY
by Michael R. Clem
Last night on chat I met a girl on line
Tried to describe myself
I said “Just imagine your favorite grocery store
and what’s upon their shelf“
Cuz I’m Swipe Left at Whole Foods
But I’m Food Lion pretty
We have a sliding scale of attractiveness
in this feast or famine City
Can’t rub elbows with the jet set
when the checkout’s over fiddy
I may be Ugly at Whole Foods
but I’m Food Lion pretty
I’m a clean up on Aisle 6
I’m a price check at register 4
If the sign says under 10 items
Then I’m the guy who’ll probably have more
On a good day I’ll return the cart
Others I’ll schlep from the door
with a dozen bags around my limbs
for the rest of the day I’m sore
Cuz I’m Swipe Left at Whole Foods
But I’m Food Lion pretty
The gentry don’t shop where I shop
Just a fact, it’s not self-pity
Can’t hang with the rich and famous
when the checkout’s over fiddy
I may be Ugly at Whole Foods
but I’m Food Lion pretty
I may be Harris Teeter poor
But I’m ALDI & LIDL wealthy
Can’t afford high end organic stuff
but I do my best to keep healthy
never clipped a coupon in my whole life
I’m all about the unit price
If the cashier laughs at my bad jokes
I’ll go back through her line twice
Cuz I’m a Swipe Left at Whole Foods
But I’m Food Lion pretty
Kroger and Giant are in between
So I’ve kept them out of this ditty
The dainty shoppers find me droll
But the commoners think I’m witty
I may be Ugly at Whole Foods
but I’m Food Lion pretty
I grew up with Safeway and A&Ps
and a couple of IGA’s
They often had that funky smell
when you cross their entry way
I pester mom to buy me gum
& candy in the checkout line
She’d roll her eyes to the bag boy
& say “it’s nearly supper time” …(which meant ‘no’)
But today I’m the one who pays the bill
so I refer to myself this way
So tell me, mysterious girl on line
what do you have to say?
Is there a place in your heart and/or cart
for a discounted good like moi
but it appears this girl has just swiped left
so I guess her answer’s ‘naww’
Cuz I’m Swipe Left at Whole Foods
But I’m Food Lion pretty
We have a sliding scale of attractiveness
in this feast or famine city
Can’t rub elbows with the jet set
when the checkout’s over fiddy
I may be Ugly at Whole Foods
but I’m Food Lion pretty
I may be Ugly at Whole Foods
but I’m Food Lion pretty
I’m Food Lion pretty
I’m Food Lion pretty
copyright 2024 J Fish Music