Michael Clem

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Jackhammer

Jackhammer
by Michael R. Clem

You brought a jackhammer to the picnic
I asked for cole slaw, but that’s okay
We drove separately, and that’s a good thing
If you start hammering, I may not stay

You brought a boyfriend on our first date
We split the bill – it went three ways
But both of your entrees, were a bit more pricey
& if you both start necking, I may not stay

No, I don’t believe that things are working out
No, I don’t think that this is gonna last
It’s more than I’m not a glass is half-full guy
It’s that I’m lookin’ at an empty glass


You brought an airhorn to the opera
We drove separately, so that’s okay
It jarred the soprano during her solo
Folks stared at our boxseat, I may not stay

You brought a nail gun to the Seder
Your very first Seder, so that’s okay
But if it goes off, as we read the Haggadah
Please take an Uber, ’cause I won’t stay

No, I don’t believe that things are working out
No, I don’t think that this is gonna last
It’s more than I’m not a glass is half-full guy
It’s that I’m lookin’ at an empty glass


I brought a jackhammer to your funeral
It’s more of a tribute, so that’s okay
I could help the gravediggers, break the hard ground
But if the eulogy’s long, I may not stay
If the eulogy’s long, I may not stay

copyright 2021 J Fish Music

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