Michael Clem

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Philmore Hall

Philmore Hall
(by Michael Clem)

Substitute teachers get no relief
You just fill ‘em with lies and give ‘em grief
Look at this one today – tiny, old & weak
He must be three days older than dirt
Where the hell did they find this little man?
Why he can’t even see over the conductor’s stand
How’s he suppose to direct this band?
We’re just gonna blare ‘til his eardrums hurt

Well he called for quiet but we just played on
& I started blowing this John Phillip Sousa song
& he excitedly asked me what page it was on
& he made everybody else play along
But not long after, the chaos ensued
The woodwinds passed notes and the trumpets just blew
and then there were those unruly few
Like the drummers who were building a bong

Had I known then what I know today
I’d find that man so I could say

PHILMORE HALL, PHILMORE HALL
COULD YOU FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE US ONE AND ALL
PHILMORE HALL, PHILMORE HALL

You can’t really reason with the preteen crowd
Insolent, pimply, stubborn & proud
They don’t pay mind to what ain’t allowed
& I played that role to a tee
Let’s have a field day with Philmore Hall
You can hear him a mile away as he squeaks down the hall
& a sub can’t send you to detention hall
Heck, he’ll be gone by the end of the week

Let’s all trade instruments and play like crap
Ignore Philmore when goes tap, tap, tap
Let’s see if we can make that poor coot snap
& send him back to the old folk’s farm
Well, it didn’t take long to put that to the test
Ole Philmore Hall, he grabbed for his chest
We almost sent him into cardiac arrest
We didn’t mean to cause him harm
& he never came back again

Had I known then what I know today
I’d find that man so I could say

CHORUS

A few years later with a better attitude
I started getting into Jazz & the Blues
I was leafin’ through the daily news
& couldn’t believe what I saw in there that day
It was that old, frail man who walked the snail’s pace
& he was pictured in Dizzy Gillespie’s embrace
Each man had a big smile on his face
You see, Philmore taught Dizzy how to play
Philmore Hall taught Dizzy Gillespie how to play

CHORUS

copyright 2016 J Fish Music

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