SQUIRRELS
by Michael R. Clem
Well I got a little beef, ’bout the critters in the woods
A particular species – always up to no good
a song for the adults – not the boys or the girls
‘cuz I’m gonna swear, I just don’t care
I wanna kill the damn squirrels
They’re always jumpin’ on the feeder,
stealin’ seed from the birds
They get a big ole snack gettin’ nice & fat,
leavin’ lil squirrel turds
They’re always on the take, and they’re always on my deck
I wish a Coopers Hawk would swoop em up,
break their lil squirrel neck
SAINT FRANCIS PLEASE – YOU’VE GOT SOME PULL
YOU SEE TO THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
AND THE DOGS AND THE FLEAS
AND THE CHICKEN COW PIGS AND BULL
BUT SAINT FRANK PLEASE
YOU GOTTA AGREE IT WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER WORLD
LET THE CREATURES AND BEASTS LIVE IN PEACE
JUST TAKE OUT THE DAMN SQUIRRELS
Don’t be fooled by their cuteness – by their nose or their tail
They’re unconvicted felons, should be sittin’ in a lil squirrel jail
They’re a menace to society with unmitigated gall
They’re lil mugshots should be on every post office wall
When I was just a kid, they tore up our pop up camper
The gnawed the crap out of all the burlap
and the laundry hamper
Oh, my Daddy he was pissed, and my Mama saw red
She said that the best kind of squirrel’s squished up curled
laying on the pavement dead
SAINT FRANCIS PLEASE – AWW, FOR GOODNESS SAKES
I DON’T MIND THE KILLER SHARKS AND THE SCORPIONS
AND THE GRIZZLY BEARS, BUGS AND SNAKES
BUT SAINT FRANK PLEASE
YOU GOTTA AGREE IT WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER WORLD
LET THE CREATURES AND BEASTS LIVE IN PEACE
JUST TAKE OUT THE DAMN SQUIRRELS
There’s no exception
no ifs ands or buts
For wiithout squirrels there’d be less grief
And plus we’d have more nuts
I even gave em monkey nuts – and they never said ‘thanks’
They went underneath my car started chewin’ on the fuel line to my gas tank
I ran out of gas real fast when I realized what had just happened
Because they got into my driver’s seat, and did a whole lotta crappin’
I had fun with a BB gun for a while but I never broke their skin
They just squeaked, darted off and came back again
I think I’ll get a feral cat – maybe get me a bazooka
On second thought about that – I think i’ll get a feral cat
I got a cousin in Nebraska, he said they taste real good
Throw ’em on the hibachi on soaked-through cedar plank wood
Think I’m gonna take a pass – I’ll eat rabbit instead
I don’t wanna live in a world where we eat squirrel
I just want to seem them dead
SAINT FRANCIS PLEASE – HERE’S WHAT I THINK
INTERCEDE FOR ME AND ASK GOD TO SEE
IF HE’LL MAKE THE DAMN SQUIRRELS EXTINCT
BUT SAINT FRANK PLEASE
YOU GOTTA AGREE IT WOULD BE A MUCH BETTER WORLD
LET THE CREATURES AND BEASTS LIVE IN PEACE
JUST TAKE OUT THE DAMN SQUIRRELS
LET THE CREATURES AND BEASTS LIVE IN PEACE
JUST TAKE OUT THE DAMN SQUIRRELS
LET THE CREATURES AND BEASTS LIVE IN PEACE
JUST TAKE OUT THE DAMN SQUIRRELS
copyright 2024 J Fish Music