Michael Clem

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TALLEST MAN IN CHARLOTTESVILLE

TALLEST MAN IN CHARLOTTESVILLE
by Michael R. Clem

I’m the tallest man in Charlottesville 
I love the view up here
I have to duck each place I go
With doorways I can’t clear
I held Ralph Sampson’s head with a stiff-armed hand
He swung haymaker punches, but none of them would land
I’m the tallest man in Charlottesville
Get a load of me

I’m the richest man in Charlottesville
I own most of the land
If my tab comes to 20 bucks,
I’d probably leave a grand
Grisham, Capshaw & and the late John Kluge 
have all had to answer to yours truly
I’m the richest man in Charlottesville
Get a load of me

WaHoo fans say “look at him”
On flat feet I grab the rim
Banks all fight for my accounts
Cuz of my buttload cash amounts
I wear an 8 foot sharkskin suit
I light cigars with paper loot
I’m looked up to everywhere I go
Because of all my height & dough,
height & dough, height & dough

Coach Bennett can’t believe at all
How I can palm four basketballs
Banks are pining for my funds
My stacks of bills contain no 1s
Enormous shoes are what I’ve got
I own a mansion und a yacht
I’m looked up to everywhere I go
Because of all my height & dough,
height & dough, height & dough

I’m the lyingest man in Charlottesville 
Because I’m short & broke
I’m short on funds, can’t pay … attention
I wish that was a joke

Oh, but I got a gal – she don’t care
That I’m a 5 foot 7 hundredaire
She’s a gift beyond compare
I don’t know how this could be,
this could be …. mercy me

I’m the luckiest man in Charlottesville 
Get a load of me

copyright 2026 J Fish Music

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