Virgil’s Refund | Michael Clem

Virgil’s Refund
(by Michael Clem)

Sweat Sweat Sweat
with no way for promotion
Is this the way that work’s
supposed to be?
He’ll bet bet bet
that his boss will make a motion
to knock off early
and by six he’ll set him free

But 95’s a mess
it’s the only corridor
Perhaps they’ll waive cover charge
they’re asking people for
There’s a backup on the road
It’s a thousand cars long
Our sweaty young commuter
only hears the last song

VIRGIL WANTS HIS FIVE DOLLARS BACK
HE’S FEELING CHEATED, VIOLATED
AND LEFT OUT TO DRY
VIRGIL SHOULD GET HIS FIVE BUCKS BACK
‘CUZ THE CUSTOMER’S ALWAYS RIGHT
EXCEPT TODAY
VIRGIL’S REFUND
VIRGIL’S REFUND

Peck Peck Peck
on his PC with emotion
Is this the only way the band will see?
If they check check check
all their mail with devotion
They’ll read his letter
and surely they’ll agree

That a fiver back to Virgil
Is the righteous thing to do
It’s been a couple years
but this Lincoln’s overdue
His boss is layin’ off
and this martyr could be next
still this stolen legal tender
to today has got him vexed

Dear Band, a few years ago
I showed up pretty late for your Tuesday show
Man, it stung when they hit me with the cover
and I really must admit I’m not a folk music lover
And what little that I heard
didn’t sound that great
I’d spent the night in traffic
and was really quite irate
So I think you owe me money
for your overrated show
Send a cashier’s check
to the address down below!

Sweat Sweat Sweat
no pink slip but demotion
He trades his car for a used one off the street
Wet Wet Wet,
Loverboy and Billy Ocean
Stray cassettes beneath the driver’s seat

There’s a half a Mars bar
and an old hair brush
There’s straw wrappers, gum
and a ticket stub for Rush
There’s a 10-hole harp
It’s a Pocket-Pal by Hohner
There are twenty dropped quarters
from the previous owner

VIRGIL GOT HIS FIVE DOLLARS BACK
HE FEELS COMPLETED, VINDICATED
AND A MILE HIGH HIGH HIGH
VIRGIL SHOULD GET HIS FIVE BUCKS BACK
‘CUZ THE CUSTOMER’S ALWAYS RIGHT
HE IS TODAY
VIRGIL’S REFUND
VIRGIL’S REFUND